Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: To keep from bruising their ears.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her.

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, “Daaady!”

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or a smart blonde.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A: None of them, two don’t exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde’s been using the computer? A: There’s writing on the white-out.

Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They’re too hard to peel.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning? A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee

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